Ways
of helping a family member overcome eating disorder |
When families first realize that a member
has developed eating disorders many of them find it difficult
to confront the person directly with her / his problems.
This can be due to the fear that it will cause an outburst
of anger, increase resistance to change, reinforce withdrawal
of the person, or stop eating completely. Families need
to understand that resistance in acknowledging one's problem
is common and it is essential for the families to help the
person become aware of her / his eating problems regardless
of whether he / she is ready to deal with the condition.
The timing chosen for discussion of the eating
problem between you and the involved person is critical.
You should choose a moment of privacy free from distraction.
It is important for you to show your genuine concern about
the problem and your readiness to understand, support and
help her / him. Your expression of concerns may be welcome
if your timing is right and the person may be ready to acknowledge
the problem. However your concerns could be ignored if she
/ he is not ready for a change and in such a situation you
should help her / him to take responsibility for doing something
constructive about the problem. You should let her / him
know the problem will be discussed later when she / he is
ready and you care about her / him though you cannot convince
her / him to get help at the present moment. Action should
be taken to help the person if the eating disorder develops
into a more serious condition, such as severe weight loss
or the development of significant physical problems, whether
the person is ready to discuss it or not. Professional help
should be sought.
Certain skills would be useful when you communicate
with a family member with an eating disorder:
- Choose a good time and a good place to talk
- Try to relax
- Use the right tone of voice and posture
- Speak in a simple and clear language
- Be caring and non-judgmental
- Listen to his / her views, don't feel that
you have to come up with solutions
- Validate his / her feelings
- Show respect for his / her feelings
- Make empathic statements
- Ask questions if you do not understand
- Be open and honest about his / her feelings
- Learn to feel comfortable expressing negative
feelings
- Avoid criticism
- Avoid power struggles around eating
- Avoid comments to do with physical appearance,
weight and food which could trigger a dramatic outburst
Living with people with
an eating disorder, families will face different day-to-day
issues related to their eating behaviour and their mood swings.
Please try out the following exercise to identify the appropriate
actions for each of the issues. Please click on the options
to indicate whether you would agree with the actions. |
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Helping
a beloved family member to take control of eating disorders |
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Helping family
members with an eating disorder to cope with mealtimes |
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Helping your suffering family
member to overcome fear |
Questions |
Agree |
Disagree |
I should cook large quantities of his
/ her favorite foods when she / he starts to eat more.
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Feedback
comments
Generally this is not helpful. The person recovering from an eating disorder needs to learn to eat all food types. Large quantities of favorite foods can in some persons trigger binges.
Feedback
comments
Generally this will be helpful not to cook large quantities of his/ her favorite foods. The person recovering from an eating disorder needs to learn to eat all food types. Large quantities of favorite foods can in some persons trigger binges.
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Helping
the suffering family member to cope with mood swings |
Questions |
Agree |
Disagree |
If my family member is upset and has lost control I should not leave him / her alone and should take control of the situation. |
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Feedback
comments
Unless your family member poses a risk to herself / himself or others generally this approach is not helpful. Give her/ him time alone to calm down and then afterwards approach her/ him to discuss what happened.
Feedback
comments
Generally it will be helpful to leave the situation if it is out of control unless your family member poses a risk to herself / himself or others. Give her/ him time alone to calm down and then afterwards approach her/ him to discuss what happened.
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Aware
of the need for firmness and care
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Questions |
Agree |
Disagree |
I find it difficult to manage the
irrational behaviours of suffering family members in a
firm manner. |
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Feedback
comments
It is unhealthful to continue this. People with eating disorders could think and behave in an irrational manner at times. For the health benefit of your loved ones, you and your family should be aware of the need for firmness and care in dealing with irrational behavior.
Feedback
comments
People with eating disorders could
think and behave in an irrational manner at times. For
the health benefit of your loved ones, you and your family
should be aware of the need for firmness and care in dealing
with irrational behaviour.
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Responding
to bulimic behaviours |
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